And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
