i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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