haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
