I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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