Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
