my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
