"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
