I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
