The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
