So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
