I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
