Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
