so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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