The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
