shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
