her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
