my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
