Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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