I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
