who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
