Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
