yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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