my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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