I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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