We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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