May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
