Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
