I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
