the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
