barbara walters just said penis...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
