I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
