I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I know her cup size but not her name....
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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