i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
