Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
