apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
