Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
we're so committed to being not committed
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