How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
