is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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