i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
