I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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