it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
