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I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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