I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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