You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
