i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
