dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
