So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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