nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
