Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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