yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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