So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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